I weighed in Tuesday morning, two weeks since last weigh in, and am happy to report that I'm maintaining very successfully - still 76!
And also, today was my last day on Roaccutane! After nearly a year of being on this medication, I'm off it at last!!
I got an email today from a lovely person who has written to me a couple of times. She was feeling a bit sad today, and she asked me if I ever had days during my journey where I felt like giving up, where I felt like I was destined to be overweight and it would just never come off, no matter what I did.
The answer is YES, a resounding yes!!
If you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll know I had some meltdowns. And if you're thinking - "Gee, wow Phil - two bad days in a whole year! As if!" Well, I obviously did have more than that. There were days when I did feel very down, but I didn't blog about every single one of them. I didn't want to drag everyone else down with me!!
The truth is that while we're trying to lose weight, some days will be easier than others. But I guess that's true of life itself - we will always have good days and bad days, whether we are overweight or at goal. There are days when I still feel like hiding under the doona, wanting the world to go away.
But I believe that every setback I had along the way to goal, every moment of doubt I had, was a test. How badly did I want this? How hard was I prepared to work to get to my goal? Did I really want to get my weight and my appalling eating habits under control, once and for all?
My absolute favourite quote, one that I had running in my head throughout this entire journey, is from Pat Farmer - "The most powerful thing in the world is your own will. If you really want to do something, in your heart of hearts, you will find a way. But if you don't want to do something, you will find an excuse."
I apply that quote to every facet of my life these days.
One thing that really helped me on my off days was looking back at my list of reasons for wanting to lose weight, that I wrote a few days after weighing in at 103.5kg. They were as follows:
• I hate being a size 18. I want to wear young, fashionable clothes like a normal 24 year old.
• I hate having photos developed and seeing how fat I look - chins, huge arms, etc. I want to smile proudly at the camera and not dread looking horrible in the photo.
• I want to be fitter and healthier and have more energy, I want to enjoy life.
• I want to be proud of how I look, not ashamed.
• I want to be able to walk into any clothes shop and know that they will have my size.
• I want to look and feel attractive, and be more confident in social situations.
• I want to look after my health.
• I want to be a positive role model for my future children.
• I want to get my weight under control and keep it off, once and for all!
I re-read this list every time I felt my motivation waning. I also would get out my horrible before shots and look at them, and use them to motivate me to go for a walk, or stay away from the chocolate aisle at Coles.
Do I need to tell you how absolutely wonderful and satisfying it is to be able to look at that list a year later and say "Yes! I have done all those things! All those things that I wanted, I now have. I have everything that I set out to achieve.
If I can do it, you can do it too!!
