thank you 2009

Thank you 2009, for everything you have been.

Thank you for the new discoveries and inspiration, for the super cool exhibits and shows, for thought provoking theatre and art.

Thank you for new writing, exciting writing, comforting writing, and for three Moleskines full.

Thank you for the 24 hour flights, the jet lag and the sheer exhilaration of being reunited with people who matter most on earth to me.

Thank you for yoga, and Topshop, and almond croissants, and Melbourne breakfast tea, and oversized floral mugs, and Lisa Mitchell, and Ane Brun, and dumbo feather, and the John Lewis Food Hall.

Thank you for the joy and beauty I found everywhere, when I looked for it - the star sprinkled skies in Tasmania, deserted beaches, swimming with dragonflies in Italy, radiant brides, a new baby grasping my finger, colonial graveyards, cold mountain air, talking to horses.

Thank you for the new friends. And thank you for the old, very dear ones.

Thank you for my new home, where I am happy. Thank you for the library across the street.

Thank you for the half marathon.

Thank you for snow. And a half decent summer!

Thank you for my new camera.

Thank you for random kindnesses.

Thank you for every opportunity. Thank you for Tumbler.

Thank you for the many reality checks. I needed them.

Thank you for restraint, and courage.

Thank you for health, both mental and physical.

Thank you for that beautiful, random, rainy night in November.

Thank you for the endings, as well as the beginnings.

~~~

And thank you for taking the time to read Green Ink this year. Here's to the next decade and all it has in store for us! Happy New Year!

leap

t'was the night before christmas

And I'm cooking!!!

This year Tom and I are hosting Christmas in our little flat, and I am cooking the dinner! I've never cooked Christmas dinner before, not on my own and in my own kitchen anyway! Tom's mum keeps saying "I'm so excited that I don't have to cook this year!" which makes me wonder what I'm in for!!

So far it hasn't been so bad, as I've done everything that I can do in advance. I spent hours this morning grilling aubergine slices, sauteeing mushrooms, whipping ice cream and marinating olives, not to mention having to brave the crowds at Sainsbury's and M&S for the things that weren't available at 9pm last night! Seriously, the fruit and vegetable section looked like a tornado had ripped through it!

I took my menu planning very seriously, as you know I would, and a few weeks ago I "auditioned" various dishes for my Christmas main course. All of us are non meat-eaters, except for Tom's dad, so I wanted to do something that was a bit more exciting than the standard nut roast. Tom was the chief judge, as I thought anything involving mushrooms, chestnuts and goats cheese would be delicious!! The first dish was pretty good, but the second audition was the standout, by far. I'm keeping it under wraps for now, but it really was to die for! Let's hope I can pull it off on Christmas Day!

The vegetables I'll serve it with will be:

Roast potatoes with rosemary and clementine peel
Jamie Oliver's roast vegetable mega mix, including carrots and parnsips
Sauteed brussels sprouts with salt, pepper and pine nuts

Steamed green beans with lemon

My desserts are:

Tom's mum's homemade Christmas pudding

Poached pears

Homemade gingerbread icecream

And of course we have chocolate and various kind of grog coming out of our ears, so it's going to be one merry Christmas!! I've been so looking forward to Christmas this year, it will be lovely to have a break. It's also the one day of the year that I let myself eat whatever the hell I like :P

No snow in London - it all seems to have melted from the other day! - but it's certainly cold!

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday! Wish me luck for my first ever Christmas dinner!

Till next time dear friends - take care and thank you for reading! Merry Christmas! xxx

three weeks later

Thank you so much to everyone who commented on my last post! It's been a wonderful couple of weeks. I've been looking at wedding blogs far more than I'd care to admit :P With snow falling (and settling!) on London at this very moment, life seems to have taken on a kind of magic. Walks in the frosty late afternoons, wine in the evenings curled on the couch, flowers for no reason other than because "you said yes"......I know what Tom and I are experiencing with each other right now are moments I'll remember forever.

~~~~~

I have stopped and started many posts here over the past few weeks. I don't know why I haven't finished them....well actually I probably do....drifting in and out of moments, and trying to be present. Wondering what I want to with this blog, not being all that inspired with its concept at the moment. Wondering whether I'm achieving what I set out to. When I started Green Ink last year I thought I wanted to create a space that would make me more accountable with my writing goals. So far I don't think I have been all that accountable, because I don't talk about my writing all that much anymore. I want that to change.

When I look at the sidebar and see where I've declared to the world that I'm "working on my first novel", I'm not lying but I also cringe a little. Everyone, it seems, is working on their "first novel". How many of us are going to actually finish it? I am writing it, certainly, when I get a moment, and am moved to, but am I working on it? Strictly speaking, no. I am nowhere near finished. Because I've let life get in the way. I also make the fatal mistake of waiting for the mood to work on it, which hardly ever comes and when it does it is at the most inconvenient times (board meetings, etc).

There's part of me that wants time away from life so I can just concentrate on writing, but I also know deep down 1) it's not really practical right now and 2) life is what feeds my writing. My story needs the fertile and rich soil of my life around it to help it flower.

So where does this leave me? With a few harsh truths in front of me that need confronting, the hardest one being that the only thing holding me back here is myself. I have set and achieved goals before. I know I can do it if I'm determined and work hard. So why is it taking so long for the penny to drop? So many people ask me "how's the novel coming?" and each time it seems to be the same answer. I'm tired of it.

I don't want to be one of those people who talks about my first novel and never actually writes it. It's time to face up to what's really going on here - fear that I'm not good enough - and just pick up where I left off, and keep going and don't stop. Even if I do feel like my days are busy and tiring and filled with other things that seem more important, I can still find time, if it's that important to me. So many people believe in me, it's about time I believed in myself.

So, no more dawdling. 2010 is the year I finish it. It will also be the year my money and my mouth will finally be in the same place.

guaranteed to help you lose at least 180lbs

While this is very much a bit of fun, I really liked the overall message: do things that make you feel powerful, alive, worthwhile, happy and amazing. Because you are, and life is great when you feel that way!

I do love Rachel's bad-ass, very clever and totally relatable humour - she's one funny, feisty and inspiring woman. She's running her first marathon in January too!

As for my own marathon....hmmm....still debating! Stay tuned!

the next race

Hi everyone! First of all, thank you all so very much for the support and kindness you showed me when I was shortlisted for the place in the London marathon! It was such an honour, and I was truly stoked to get that far. Unfortunately I didn't make the final cut, but you know what, it's ok! I do plan to run a marathon at some point, hopefully in 2010! A friend of mine, who ran the Dubai marathon in January this year (and did a rocking time of just over 4 hours!), wants to do another one so the plan is we will do one together, in an exotic location, with some sight-seeing and pampering thrown in! Sounds good to me!

In the meantime, I have another half marathon lined up for March 2010. As part of my prize for being shortlisted, I have an entry in the Dorney Lake race, which is very exciting, and gives me something to aim for in the first few months of the year, which is great! I managed to train for a half with five weeks up my sleeve last time, so feel confident I'll be ready again by March! I really want to smash my last time if I can!

But of course, a lot of you know already I will be trying to time my big races with another big event.....as I'll need to fit into a wedding dress at some point in the next year or so :D

Yes, that's right - Tom and I are engaged!! He proposed last Saturday night, on the bridge in London where we had our first kiss on our first date a bit over two years ago. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. We had been talking about it, but I thought it wouldn't happen for ages, so he did surprise me! And the ring - which he picked out on his own - is absolutely stunning, I can't stop looking at it! And it's been funny typing and writing with this extra weight on my hand this week! We haven't set a date or anything yet, we just want to enjoy this special time :) As you can imagine, the marathon quickly went to the back of my head! It's been such a euphoric week, talking to family and friends all over the world, staying up late with mugs of hot chocolate and talking about the future...Tom brought flowers to my work on Thursday and we keep calling each other "fiance" and "fiancee"! Cuteness overload :)

It's been such a wonderful year. I truly have never been more content and happy in my life. When I think of where I was just a few years ago, my head is in a spin! Life really can be whatever you want it to be - and if you stay true to yourself and who you are, you will be rewarded in ways you could never have imagined.

More soon!! Have a wonderful week everyone! xxx