don't stop me now!

This is one of the best running songs ever!

When I left Sydney to fly to San Francisco on a drizzly, cold April morning four years ago, my friend Mary remarked that she had "never seen so many Phils!"  One minute I was elated and excited, the next I was terrified and didn't want to go.  Thank goodness she was there to put me on that plane :)

This week has kind of been like that!

My mind has been crowded with a lot of things this week.  Even though I've never experienced it, it's what I imagine the last few days of being pregnant must be like - I've even been "nesting"!  I cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom! That never happens!  Anything, I suppose, to distract myself.  Gobbling up Joanna Trollope and Armistead Maupin novels like they're going out of fashion; parking myself in front of several episodes of Boston Legal at a time.  No alcohol to help me switch off and escape (God that sounds dreadful, I really am not a wino!) so I have to turn to other things!  Hubby has also commented on my very short attention span, noting that I don't sit still for very long and have to be up and "doing things" all the time!

I had a few freak outs at the beginning of the week.  Over the last three weeks I have been getting chest pains regularly at bedtime - I used to get them all the time when I was about 19.  At the time, I had thought it was my childhood asthma rearing its ugly head again.  "Panic attacks," my GP said, when finally I could take no more and went to get my Ventolin prescription refilled.  Looking back I can see that's exactly what they were, my body reacting to the emotional wasteland that was my life at the time, the smothering of my real self.  I haven't had them for years.  A tightness in the throat and the lungs, sharp, stabbing pains, made worse when I lie down.  And of course, the more I stressed about it, the worse they got!  Thankfully I've managed to shake them off.  My runs last week were not brilliant and I don't think that helped my confidence!  I felt so heavy and lethargic, like my legs were made of lead.  Of all the weeks, even in bleakest, darkest February when I was running in early morning frosts with hat and gloves on, this has been the only week where I've wondered why the hell I'm doing this.  But I think that's probably normal when you're so close to the end, about to achieve the brightest and sunniest of all moments in the sun.

Yoga has helped.  Talking to people has helped too!  And reading other people's experiences and uplifting stories of their marathons.  Favourites have included:

• Any marathon Healthy Ashley does 
• Sir Jog-a-Lot's mile by mile account of the 2010 London Marathon
• Marathon Mummy's 2010 London Marathon
• Caitlin's Disney Marathon last year

Coach Julia also sent a very sweet email which shooed away the last of my howling scaredy cats.  I heart her. She's been amazing!  I also have a massage booked for tomorrow night to soothe away the last of the lower back knots.  Feelin' good.

So I've now moved past the scared shitless phase and I am actually very, very excited now.  I can't wait to go to the Expo, get my name printed on my t-shirt and mingle with some fellow runners!  I have some Aussie flag tattoos to put on my arms on the big day.  I have decided to wear my lucky pink Flashdance cap, the one that has stains from my first ever half marathon in 2009 on it (!), rather than this fetching Back to the Future cap that Tom originally had in mind:

He wanted me to wear something that would make it easy to spot me!  Sadly the hat is just too hard to be comfortable to wear for 5+ hours - it wears a bit like a hard hat! :P  We couldn't resist a picture though.

Tapering is well and truly happening - I only have two short runs left in my training plan and then that's it.  A 40 minute run + strides in the morning, then a measly 30 minutes on Friday.  Then the final countdown will begin!!  The next time I put on my (now very comfy) Brooks runners will be early Sunday morning!

I am going to have the Time. Of. My. Life.